How Long Does It Take For An Ex To Come Back: How Long Should You Wait To Get Your Ex Back

Charles Simon
8 min readSep 11, 2020

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Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

How long does it take for an ex to come back — How long should you wait to get your ex back.

If your ex has split up with you then every minute might seem like a year and you could be left wondering on how long does it take to get an ex back.

Well, depending on the nature of the breakup and the mindset of both partners, it could vary from a few weeks to a few months, although by following these tips you will certainly get your ex back within a couple of months.

A cooling-off period is a must

Although you might be in a hurry to get your ex back, a cooling-off period of a week or two is extremely important. This will allow both you and your ex to cool down and look at the situation with a different perspective.

While you might already be missing your ex, he or she too could start missing your presence during this vital period.

Wait a little more time in parading yourself before your ex

Even after the cooling-off period, do not try to jump in your ex’s arms at each party. Instead, make sure to stay only in visual contact with your ex while talking to other friends. A little distance will re-awaken feelings of loneliness and desire within your ex.

Spend a little time in upgrading your looks too

You should make sure that your ex gets the wind knocked out of his lungs when he sees you after the cooling-off period. A little time spent on upgrading your looks will pump you up with confidence too, and your ex will now be overcome with feelings of regret of having left you.

Allow your ex to get comfortable around you

A little time will also be required to make your ex comfortable around you again. So, if you meet up at any party, mall, or corner then just talk cordially with your ex without trying to pressurize him or her. Your ex might soon get comfortable around you and turn chatty once again.

Spend a little time on introspection

You will also require a little time to sit back and introspect on the flaws of the old relationship that ultimately caused the breakup.

You will need to ensure that such flaws do not wreck your future again and you can also inform your findings to your ex in the form of a letter. Your ex might also agree with your views.

Act as if you might move on

You should also spend time on getting your life as an individual back on track. You should enter the social and professional world with the thought of regaining your self-respect and confidence to face the future.

Your ex will notice these moves and would get worried that you could soon walk away alone without waiting for him or her.

Wait for your ex to make the final move

Your ex will now initiate the final act by asking you to meet him or her for an attempt at reconciliation. Your renewed looks, confidence and independence would have melted the anger and replaced it with desire and fear of losing you forever.

These tips will require a little time to provide positive results but if executed perfectly, will surely result in getting your ex back within a couple of months.

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Getting your ex back can be a very complicated endeavour. Let’s face it, break-ups and divorce suck! What’s even worse though, is looking back now after all the smoke has cleared and wondering if you did the right thing. Now that the arguing and yelling have quieted, the hurt and anger faded, and you are left alone with just your thoughts, memories and regrets… the idea of living the rest of your life without the one you loved seems to have lost its appeal. If you can relate to this and find yourself, sitting around, orchestrating ways in your mind of getting your ex back, you are not alone. Many broken relationships have been renewed and restored, even those that have ended in divorce.

If you have made up your mind to get your love back, you might want to read through these do’s and don’ts for a better chance at success:

* Don’t make threats. This type of manipulation just makes you seem weak and desperate. Women do not find either weakness, or desperation, appealing and threatening to do something stupid or harm yourself will not help in getting your ex back.

* Don’t try to buy her back. No amount of veiled bribery will convince your ex to come back. Candy, flowers, jewelry… all nice, but won’t work! The reality is that she has most likely lost her sense of attraction for you and it is that which she really desires, and which you must find a way to restore. Things aren’t what she wants or needs, no matter how much they glitter… it’s that “feeling” that she craves, and nothing will change the way she thinks about you until she gets that feeling back.

Getting Your Ex Back Requires Knowing What To Do And What Not To Do…

* Do find a way to rekindle the chemistry. Not that you need to try and rebuild an exact replica of the relationship as it was in the beginning when everything was, supposedly, perfect. The truth is that people change and it could very well be that many of the traits she admired about you at the start could now be viewed as irritating. You would be wise to rediscover the things she values and the interests she has. Chemistry will play a big role in getting your ex back, and finding that “x” factor that she enjoys and responds to should be a part of your quest.

* Do not use jealousy. This trick is as old as the hills and though it has been tried many times for many years, it is still just as stupid and useless! If you think that taking another woman out and broadcasting it so that your ex hears all about it, is going to have her running back to you… hmmm, then really, I don’t think you are very serious about getting your ex back. Most likely it will only make her think that you never really did love her in the first place. If the idea of using jealousy creeps into your mind, chase it out immediately!

* Don’t harass her. No amount of whining and begging will bring her back. Put the phone down, stop texting, say no to emailing… rented signs on billboards asking her to come back aren’t going to have her running into your arms! This type of desperation and “stalker” mentality will only push her further away. You must respect her time and space and understand that she will come back if and when she’s ready and it won’t be through your efforts of trying to convince her. In relationships there is what I call the “push-pull syndrome”. When one partner pushes too much, the other one invariably pulls away.

* Do seek counseling if you feel so inclined. For whatever reason, men many times shy away from allowing others to help them. Perhaps it is a macho gene or some other warped out chromosomal deficiency in the male species that prohibits them from seeking help, outside themselves, to solve problems. If you’re serious about getting your ex back, at all costs, but find the process at a stand still, than I encourage you to consider counseling. Usually it will give you a fresh perspective on your relationship, and ideas for restoring it, that you probably would never come up with on your own.

* Do apologize. A sincere, heart-felt, “I am so sorry for hurting you…”, apology will do more for getting your ex back than anything else you could say. A proper apology will include the reason why you are sorry and that you realize the extent of hurt and pain you caused your ex. When she understands, and believes, you will never do what you did to her again, a huge obstacle will have been removed and your chances of winning her back will have improved ten fold.

There are always multiple variables that come into play when trying to restore a relationship, especially one that has gone through a divorce. You may or may not be successful in getting your ex back — perhaps you will have to accept the reality that the breakup is final. But I think it is an honorable pursuit and believe that any man with integrity will not shy away from doing all he can to restore a relationship, reconcile with a lost love and give it his best shot. I can tell you this for a fact… if you are truly committed to getting your ex back, your first step will be learning how to rebuild the love back into your estranged relationship.

If you will take these do’s and don’ts and apply them in a well thought-out strategy, your potential for success, in getting your ex back, will be far greater than an approach that is haphazard and reckless.

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Charles Simon

Charles Simon is an expert relationship adviser with six years of experience in reuniting ex-lovers.