Mutual Break Up But I Miss Him: How To Get Him Back If Your Breakup Was Mutual
“Mutual break up but I miss him — How to get him back if your breakup was mutual.” There are 2 major types of so called mutual breakups. You and your ex broke up and somehow you reached the decision together. How easy would it be to discuss getting back together with your ex? This might depend upon which type of mutual breakup the two of you experienced.
If you are seriously rethinking mutual breakup with your ex was a mistake then let’s take a look at mutual breakups and get some tips on discussing getting back together with your ex.
Breakup Due To Growing Apart
You and your ex decided to break up after a gradual realization that you were growing apart. Maybe you just didn’t have enough common interests or passions. Possibly one of you is highly career motivated and driven and the other is more interested in a low stress, slower paced life. The two of you were and possibly are still in love, but you have been having more and more difficulty understanding and relating to each other.
If that is your situation and you have decided to try again, then the first thing to do is decide what your goal is specific to the relationship. Then look closely at the independent goals are for you and for your ex. Realistically can the two of you complement each other as a couple and help each other achieve the goals you have laid out? You and your ex are likely still friendly and talking to why not meet to discuss this and if you decide that your goals are not compatible then you need to just remain friends and move on.
Breakup Due To An Unresolved Issue
You and your ex could not resolve one or more specific problems. It brought enough frustration and interference between you to have you reach the mutual conclusion that you had to go separate ways.
Did this problem have to do with a lacking in maturity or responsibility on the part of one or both of you? Or was the issue more involving a “burned in” character issue that isn’t likely to “get fixed” any time soon?
Be honest with yourself and if the main issue or issues is in your court, can you correct your behavior? And are you willing to put in the effort to correct the behavior? What if the main issue is on your ex? Can you be supporting in helping your ex deal with this problem? Do you think your ex is willing to make this effort in order to restore the relationship?
The good news is that usually after a mutual break up the couple will be at least somewhat friendly and willing to get together. The bad news with a mutual break up could be that the emotion and spark is long gone and there just isn’t enough desire to make it happen again.
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No one says that breakups are easy to deal with and that doing something about them is also easy, but it’s important people will try to socialize as much as possible. It’s a great chance to forget about the past and meet new people and who knows, maybe a new partner. Film festivals, crafts fairs, arts fairs and so on should be considered a lot, as they will fill the mind of the lovelorn with positive things and will ease the burden.
Yet when you will be ready to actually start moving on with your life, your friends’ and family’s questions will be the biggest stings for you. This will happen especially in the case where your ex was actually very close to the family. You will thus need to tell them that you ended the relationship and being bombarded with “Whys” and “Hows” will not make it any easier for you.
Moving on is not the answer
Even though they might tell you to move in order to make you feel better, in your heart you will actually wonder if you can get your ex back. This is a terrible state of confusion which certainly doesn’t make you feel good at all. You are the only one who knows why you broke up with your ex and it’s you who holds the answer to all of these problems. So if you want to go back to your ex, you still have great chances of doing that, because compared to the regular ways of breaking up that involve fights, cussing and even worse, you have parted on amicable grounds. This means your heart and your ex’s heart is still open.
Advancing
Depending on the feedback you get, be sure you don’t overdo anything. Don’t act unnatural, as this will be a deal breaker in such sensitive situations in which only emotions flow and how you deal with creating the right mood, matters. See it this way: you both have your feet hurt and can’t move fast, so you decide to take it step by step to reduce the pain. This is actually a good comparison for this situation. Once you will get closer, you will start to again feel more comfortable with each other, as the pressure will have gradually melted away.
Make sure you touch those sensitive topics you were never able to speak about and find a solution together. Talk with your ex and try to be understanding and patient. In this moment, if you are honest, have an open heart and mind, your emotions will be shown through each pore and thus it’s guaranteed that the love you will feel for your ex will get you two together again.
Tips and Warnings
Everything regarding the old relationship has to be put in a box and the box either thrown away or put in a place where it’s difficult to reach. If people are always bombarded with reminders of their failed relationship, it will only make them more depressed and more upset and they won’t be able to stop thinking about it.
There is always the urge of contacting the ex back and even if the urge is very strong, no one should attempt giving in to it unless they are fully healed inside. If people will decide to open the doors to contact it will only stir up the wounds they had from the past.
Don’t risk losing your ex forever, improve your chances to get back together with your ex by using a method so controversial your ex will be unable to resist.
The Number One Reason For Breaking Up
Why do people break up? There are many possible reasons.
However, when you try to analyze all the reasons for breaking up, you will realize that it all boils down to one main reason — Your Ex Has Fallen Out of Love With You!
The Best Way to Get Your Ex Back
Therefore, if you still wish to get back together with your ex, the best way is to get your ex to fall in love with you again.
The Number One Mistake People Make When They Are Trying To Get Their Ex Back
So you are trying to get your ex to fall in love with the ‘old you’. It is important not to make this mistake.
Why? Because it is the ‘old you’ that your ex has broken up with. It is the ‘old you’ that your ex has fallen out of love with.
Therefore, if you try to make your ex fall in love with the ‘old you’, you are basically trying to do the impossible. That is definitely not a smart way to get your ex back.
Just Be Yourself — The Worst Advice You Will Ever Hear
As mentioned above, if you want to get your ex to fall in love with you again, you cannot be the ‘old you’. This is the number one mistake you should avoid. In other words, the popular advice ‘just be yourself’ is not going to work.
The ‘just be yourself’ advice is actually a myth.
Let me explain.
It is based on the assumption that you will never change. But that is definitely not true.
People do change over the years based on their life experiences. In other words, you may be an entirely different person in the future.
So don’t just try to be yourself. Always try to be better than yourself. Over time, you will become a different but improved version of yourself.
Being A Different Person Doesn’t Mean You Need To Change Drastically
Of course, I am not saying that you have to change drastically. But at the very least, you should become a better person.
For example, you may lack confidence in the past. Now you can work on improving your confidence.
When your ex sees a more confident you, they may fall in love with you again.
Common Sense Means Nothing Until You Do Something About It
Perhaps you may saying something like, ‘the advice you give is just common sense’.
Well, you may be right. But you know what?
Most people don’t apply common sense advice in their life. If no action is taken, nothing is going to change. Your ex is not going to come back to you automatically.
So if you need to apply common sense advice to improve yourself, make sure you actually take action. Ultimately, I am sure you want your ex to fall in love with you again.
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