Boyfriend Loves My Best Friend And Dumped Me: My Boyfriend Left Me For My Best Friend
Boyfriend loves my best friend and dumped me — My boyfriend left me for my best friend.
If there were two people on earth that would not want to see you hurt, there would be your sweet best friend and your loving boyfriend. At least that was what you used to believe. But now your world is turned upside down when the very same two people are the ones who cause you so much pain. The pain of betrayal from your most trusted individuals are devastating to say the least. You probably are so angry the only thing you can think of is revenge. Calm yourself down as being in a rage will not do yourself any good, not that you can care less about it right now. But here are a few things to ponder that will help calm your nerves and guide you to what the best next steps you can take.
1. There is a joke that says that the best revenge you can do if a woman steals your man is by letting her keep him. The joke may just make fun of men in general, but when you come to think about it, if your boyfriend is capable of betraying and leaving you, he is capable of doing the same to other people. So in a way it is true that the best revenge is to let your ex best friend have him and who knows one day he will leave her too for someone else.
2. Be thankful that you can get rid of the wolves in sheep skins from your life. That girl is obviously not your best friend and that guy is obviously not the love of your life. As hurt as it may be, it is far better to discover that now rather than down the track when you get more comfortable in the relationship and find it harder and more painful to deal with. So take this as a blessing.
3. Learn the lesson. Think back about the relationship and see if you can find anything wrong with it. What drove your ex boyfriend to find someone else. What quality in your girlfriend that he likes that is lacking from you? When you make yourself a better person, it does yourself a favor for your future relationship. It also open the door for reconciliation with your ex boyfriend if you so desired.
4. Forgive and forget. I can almost hear you say “yeah right”. Truth is, holding grudge will not punish them in any way. The only person who gets punished out of it is yourself and you really don’t need anymore beating. If it is impossible to forgive them, at least don’t put anymore negative feelings on them. They really backfires. To the very least you should forgive yourself. You may have done some wrong in your relationship, but the way it turned out is NOT your fault. Allow yourself to grief for a bit, then forget about it and move on.
5. You may for some reason want to get back together with your ex, for example if you know you have done something terrible that drove him away, and that you could have done differently so he would not leave you. In that case there is strong chance that your ex still loves you and he left only because there is unsolvable problems in your relationship. You can get him to talk to you openly, without your ex best friend of course, and see if it is possible to give the relationship another try. Keep your emotion fully at check though as this is very critical and you don’t want to blow your chances.
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Breaking up is never easy. Feelings are hurt and in most cases both parties are left feeling bitter and raw about the relationship. It doesn’t matter how the relationship ended or who ended it, either way emotions are going to be high. Try not to worry too much about the way you’re feeling now, it’s completely normal given your present situation.
However you need to be mindful of the fact that your emotions could make or break your chances at getting back together with your ex boyfriend. Unfortunately as we go through life, there’s no courses in school offered to us on how to deal with a break up. Often times we stumble around in the dark and hope we get it right. Having said that, I have good news for you. The best way to get your boyfriend back is to develop a simple blueprint and stick to it and I’ve got a simple one outlined for you below:
The first part of your plan involves giving your ex time and space away from you and the drama of the break up. This is called the no contact rule. The reason that this is the first and most important rule is because it allows you to reflect on your relationship with him while at the same time giving your ex boyfriend the appearance that you’re doing just fine without him. I know you’re thinking I’m crazy. However, the point to this exercise is to show him that you can survive with out him and start to make him second guess his decision to break up with you.
Get involved in your family’s and friends lives again and reconnect with people you may have otherwise lost touch with. But at the same time, refrain from unloading all your relationship problems on them. Take the time to talk freely with them and accept their support, sympathy and advice for you.
Now this part isn’t really part of your plan, but you should take the opportunity to ask them if there was anything, in their opinion, that lead to the demise of your relationship. Just be careful though. If they hated your ex then expect most of the blame to be placed on him. However, if they liked him you could find yourself taking the brunt of the blame. Either way, you’re likely to hear some things that maybe you couldn’t see before but now you can because you can step back and look at things in a different light.
Either way you need to take some time and reflect on your past relationship. It’s important, during your reflection, to strip the emotion out of everything and look at your relationship objectively.
When it comes time to talk to your ex boyfriend, let him make the fist move. Take it slow and easy at first so you don’t come off as desperate and needy. Keep the conversation light and don’t bring up the past. If you want to talk about your relationship and what went wrong, it’s best that you wait a while. But if you follow the no contact rule correctly there’s no need for you to bring up the issue about getting back together because he’ll do it all on his own. In fact he’ll be dying to get back together with you because he thinks he made a mistake in breaking up with you. If you take anything away, let it be this: the less effort you put in now, the less you’ll need to do later.
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